TMRDWMP CH 2

Chapter 2

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Wasted Opportunity

The orphanage building, which had been converted from an old school, was cold and drafty. It was located on the outskirts of the capital, with many children but few people.

Still, on days when patrons came, it looked somewhat presentable. The children would attach flowers made from scraps of fabric to the building, and wear handmade knitted ribbons in their hair. The nobles and newly rich would pat the children’s heads once, deluding themselves into thinking they were charitable people, before leaving behind donations.

And, like beans sprouting in a drought, someone would take a child with them. It was mostly for reasons other than adoption, such as needing a young maid or a playmate for their own child. Similar to taking in a pet.

Even so, the children desperately wished to be chosen. Anywhere would be better than the orphanage. The people who took the children always set the same conditions: a smart and kind child. And that they must be young.

Monica met the first two conditions but was not young. She was already eight years old when she was dragged to the orphanage. People preferred toddlers who couldn’t tell right from wrong.

Nevertheless, a chance came for Monica.

One of the semi-noble families that sponsored the orphanage said they wanted to adopt a child. The man who visited the director’s office said his wife had been saddened ever since her miscarriage twelve years ago and could not have children.

“Twelve years old. I’d like a smart and kind child. A boy would be difficult... a girl would be better.”

The director naturally recommended Monica. Monica was quick-witted and smart. At twelve, she was already looking after children much younger than herself.

As soon as she woke up in the morning, she would wash in cold water, then wake up the children sleeping in the beds next to hers, one by one, and wash their faces. She had quickly learned to read and taught the other children.

It would be a bit of a loss for the director, but he must have thought it was better than sending an inept child who would be returned. Besides…

“Her hair... black hair would be nice. It looks dignified even without much adornment.”

Monica had black hair. The director smiled brightly.

“I have just the child you are looking for!”

“Really? That’s wonderful.”

“Yes, her name is Monica, but...”

But coincidentally, there was one more child hiding near the director’s office at that time.

Lizzie.

Lizzie Offen.

As the two were cleaning the room next to the director’s office that day, they ended up hearing everything the director and the man said. Their eyes met.

“...”

Monica clearly saw the envy and sadness swirling in Lizzie’s grey eyes. Lizzie was the same age as her and had the same black hair. But, unlike the bright and quick-witted Monica, she was clumsy and slow in her actions. She barely learned to read with Monica’s help and couldn’t do other tasks well due to a lack of resourcefulness. So, she always admired and envied Monica.

“I’m so jealous, you are...”

Lizzie, who had fallen silent after saying that, suddenly came to Monica’s bed a few nights later. In the dead of night, when all the children were asleep, Lizzie knelt beside Monica’s bed, holding Monica’s hands and weeping as she whispered.

“Monica, please. Could you give that spot to me?”

Lizzie pleaded desperately. Monica hesitated. Her honest feeling was that she didn’t want to give it up. More importantly, she didn’t think it would be possible even if Monica offered to give it up.

“I-I don’t think the director will allow it just because I give it up...”

But Lizzie clung to Monica’s skirt desperately. The sturdy old orphanage nightgown was something Monica had never imagined would tear. But at that moment, Monica was afraid her nightgown would be ripped. Lizzie wept and clung to her.

“I-I will take care of it myself! Somehow!”

“How?”

“There’s a carriage coming to pick you up tomorrow, isn’t there? You just need to be distracted for a moment. My brooch you wanted! I’ll give it to you!”

Lizzie’s brooch. Monica’s eyes wavered. The brooch, which Lizzie had had with her when she was abandoned, was a piece of fake jewellery worthless to adults, but to children, it was as tempting as oatmeal with honey.

A small brooch with a round emblem inside the fake gem. When the brooch caught the sunlight, it scattered pink streaks on the white orphanage wall, and Monica had always coveted it. Lizzie would always flaunt it when the orphanage children wanted to see the light, reluctantly taking out the brooch for only a brief moment.

“Just play with the brooch for a little while, and I’ll get into the carriage. Please. Okay?”

Could it really be that easy?

“You’re smart and pretty. I get scolded by the director every day... I’ll never get a chance. Because I’m a stupid, useless girl! But you’ll have another good chance, won’t you?”

A stupid, useless girl. That was what the orphanage director always called Lizzie. If she could go back in time, Monica would swear she would grab her past self and return those words. But the Monica of that time wavered. Lizzie was sobbing and murmuring.

“Everyone likes you, but not me. I’m ugly and stupid. I wish I was just like you...”

Praise and admiration poured unilaterally from a peer. Even if the words were crude and their intention was clear, children are weak to such things.

Really? Since I’m pretty and smart, will I be adopted again soon? It will be difficult for her, right?

Fragmented and vague thoughts filled young Monica’s head.

Furthermore, she felt sorry for Lizzie, who would be left alone and scolded every day if Monica were adopted. Lizzie always clenched her dirty apron whenever she was scolded by the director, which was why the creases in that apron never smoothed out.

Moreover, Lizzie’s cheeks, which used to be plump as if she had a candy in her mouth, had become very thin in just a few days. And so, Monica hid in the attic early the next morning, just as Lizzie had said. She held Lizzie’s pink brooch in her hand.

When she went to the window and held the brooch up to the sunlight, pink streaks reflected on the wall. A sparkling, beautiful light. But strangely, she felt no particular emotion.

Suddenly, Monica opened the attic window and looked down. Monica still remembers the scene she looked down upon from that window. The director was almost frantic when he couldn’t find Monica, even though the noble family’s grand carriage had arrived early that morning. It was then that Lizzie quickly appeared before the director, wearing her best clothes. She was still clenching her skirt tightly.

The director paused for a moment, then grabbed the hesitant child by the shoulder and presented her to the man standing by the carriage. Lizzie got into the carriage without looking back. That day, Monica was beaten by the director until her legs were broken.

“You tried to trick me! You foolish girl! Do you think there will be a next time?”

Monica, fell asleep crying, she cried even harder the next morning when she saw the blue bruises on her legs. The bruises lasted for a month.

Monica’s hope, which had been to wait for adoptive parents to appear, slowly shifted to hoping that Lizzie would return. She even dreamed that the gentleman in the magnificent hat would suddenly appear again.

“We were mistaken. The girl we want is Monica.”

But the director was right. There was no next time for Monica. Although the director was angry at the two mischievous girls, if someone else had wanted Monica, he would have let her be adopted. But no family that wanted a girl over twelve years old appeared again. Lizzie never returned either. Until Monica was almost chased out of the orphanage at the age of eighteen.

“Sigh.”

Looking back now, maybe Lizzie was the truly smart child. Wasn’t she?

She looked slow, but she was quick when she needed to be.

It was no use thinking about it now. Monica wiped the bridge of her nose. In the early summer weather, the taffeta dress that covered her wrists felt a bit hot. But it was the only good dress Monica owned. She had to walk carefully since she would have to wear this dress again tomorrow. The commercial street in La Spezia, unlike the capital, was still unpaved, and a cloud of dust rose with every step.

Madame Oran had hinted that the child she would be teaching was a boy. The second and youngest child, born late to a family that only had a first daughter. He was frail from a young age and needed someone who could constantly look after him and handle emergencies.

The lady of the house, whose title was merely that of a third-class honorary nobleman but whose wealth was enormous, was said to cherish her son as if she might crush him if she held him too tightly or let him fly away if she breathed on him.

It’s no wonder she immediately dismissed even the servants she brought into the house if they showed even the slightest sign of illness, fearing they might pass it on to her son.

It would be a disaster if I caught a cold.

The most famous things in La Spezia were the swimming competitions held in the sea and the lake right nearby. The lake was strangely a freshwater even though it was connected to the sea, it was said to be full of people boating in the summer.

I might one day get a look of the lake if I’m able to serve a noble young master, but I guess that won’t happen.

“...Huh?”

Monica opened her eyes wide. The surrounding scenery had become unfamiliar. She had intended to go back to the inn near the La Spezia train station, but...

“The harbor?”

She was walking among sailors. Monica’s mouth fell open. The blowing wind carried a strong smell of salt. Amidst the stinging sunlight and salty breeze, several large sailboats were moored in the distance, showing off their tall masts.

The dusty street was gone, and Monica now stood on a rough stone pavement. Light-coloured awnings, stained with water, flapped here and there, and sun-tanned sailors busily moved around them.

“Get out of the way, move!”

“Hey! You swindler!”

“The reward for this voyage is...”

Men in fancy hats, labourers with sleeves rolled up, young boys leading packhorses, and street vendors trying to attract attention with things like parrots...

Madame Oran’s words came back to her.

“The La Spezia train station wasn’t used during the war, so the area in front of it is a mess. People often get lost. The streets are very confusing.”

The harbour was right near the train station and she had drifted towards it while walking alone lost in thought. Monica was flustered and looked around. The harbour was certainly not a good place for a lady to walk.

“Excuse me, but could you tell me the way to the La Spezia train station...”

“What? Move!”

No one paid attention to her help. A sailor carrying a large crate glared at her, and Monica quickly stepped aside.

Fortunately, after diligently scanning the area, she saw the tip of the clock tower in front of the train station, which she had seen when she arrived in La Spezia, in the distance.

If I can just get there, I’ll figure it out.

From the front of the train station, she could somehow find her way. Monica sighed and turned in that direction.

“Oh, my.”

As soon as she turned, something blocked her view.

“Oh.”

Monica bumped into someone’s chest and they immediately grabbed her shoulder. A firm chest beneath soft fabric, a strong body odour mixed with the smell of salt. The hand holding her arm gently pulled her away. Dazed, Monica raised her head.

“Are you alright, miss?”

Her vision swam. She couldn’t tell whether the dazzling brightness came from the afternoon sunlight over the harbour or from the young man’s golden hair. Beautiful blue eyes looked down at her.

“...Sol?”

The man’s face blurred before her eyes.

Chapter 1

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Chapter 3