IDLYITL CH 1

Chapter 1

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The Boy from Childhood

It was four years ago, when Pysche was espoused into the Demiosis ducal family of the empire. It was March, when the peach blossoms bloomed. Some called her marriage a transaction to settle the kingdom's debt.  Others said she was fortunate to join a ducal family instead of becoming an old nobleman's second wife.

After all, her marriage had been broken once before and it was due to an unavoidable circumstance.

The family of her fiancé, Warren Demiosis, a duke of the empire who was supposed to pay off the kingdom's debt in exchange for her hand, had been completely overturned by a certain man just a few months prior.

And yet, the family she was to marry into was still the Demiosis family, the empire's only ducal house. She had left her kingdom to marry not Warren Demiosis, but the mad murderer who had all but destroyed Demiosis.

This murderer was also a man she had known for a long time.

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Marrying off a princess to pay a kingdom’s debt was disgraceful enough, but to have the engagement broken once already made it worse. And now, to marry another man from the same family?

Everyone across the continent, including the citizens of her own kingdom, clicked their tongues at the news of her marriage. Was this marriage a misfortune, as the gossips claimed? Or was it a stroke of luck?

Inside the moving carriage, Psyche Dawson adjusted her uncomfortable wedding dress.

Whether it is luck or misfortune, I’m just glad that the path leading to him isn’t frightening.

The boy once came to the Kingdom of Dawson years ago and volunteered to be her older brothers' playmate. With black hair and jewel-like blue eyes, his sapphire -like eyes reflected the lush greenery of the renowned Dawson royal gardens.

People called him a monster who had paraded his foster father's severed head and crippled his stepbrother. They pitied Psyche, saying she was being hauled away to her wedding like a captive.

But strangely, Psyche wasn't afraid at all on her journey to marry him. In fact, she was even a little excited. Although it felt like she was being sold, it was different from marrying a complete stranger. If she had to marry someone, she wanted it to be him.

Psyche, in her naivety, thought this might be the beginning of love.

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Psyche and her servants arrived at the ducal manor several days later. All the Kingdom of Dawson had sent in exchange for the marriage was a few servants and knights, some jewels, travel expenses, and the beautiful princess adorned as if she were a gift, loaded into a carriage.

At Duke Demiosis’ request, there was no wedding ceremony. Fearing they might offend the duke, her brothers had her wear the wedding dress for the entire journey instead. The pure white dress was one of the most cumbersome things about the days-long journey.

Psyche had worn it for so long that she started getting a bit dizzy when she stepped out of the carriage. The staff of the ducal manor came out to greet the princess, but the duke himself was not there. Psyche, her head covered by a veil, lifted her head. The magnificent estate spread out before her.

He must be busy.

Still, she expected him to make an appearance at dinner. But when dinner arrived, the master of the house still didn't appear. He was said to be in his office.

“This manor is so... quiet.”

“The Duke is just nervous.”

The ducal manor, which housed dozens of servants, was cold as a haunted house. The only sound breaking the silence was the occasional clinking of her cutlery. The royal family had instructed her not to take off the wedding dress until the duke took it off for her on their wedding night. And so, Psyche couldn't change her dress even during a dinner where the master of the house was absent.

She was fatigued from the long travel that it was difficult to swallow the food with the cumbersome dress, and the tightly laced corset. She had been a little excited of finally seeing him, but as she sat alone at the unfamiliar table, eating a small piece of bread, she settled her fluttering heart and reevaluated her situation.

A woman in a wedding dress, alone in a manor where the master did not welcome her.

Crumpling the hem of her dress, she was only an actress in a play.

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After dinner, Psyche undid her hair, which was braided like a flower crown, and went into the bedroom. She waited for him to come in until dusk. But no matter how long she waited, the duke didn't come.

Psyche sat by the window, leaning on the dim light of a single candle and stared blankly outside for a long time. The dark forest near the ridge seemed to wave in the wind.

It was already past midnight. The master of the manor had no interest in her.

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“Ikali... Can we talk for a moment?”

Psyche stood in front of her husband with a sombre expression, blocking his path. Before her stood the boy from her childhood, and her first love. Now he was her husband, the man who had murdered his own father and seized control.

There were definitely traces of the boy she once knew in her husband's face. But meeting his mournful blue eyes, made it difficult for her to speak.

He narrowed his brows slightly as he stand face-to-face with his wife, who had suddenly blocked his way. His expression was clearly annoyed.

Every time she saw that look, Psyche felt herself shrink as if she were facing a stranger, not someone she knew well.

She mustered her courage and clenched her fists.

I want to ask him to go for a walk together.

One month had passed since they their marriage, but she hadn't had a proper conversation with her husband. As the peach blossoms bloom by her bedroom window, she resolved to talk to him today no matter what.

Peach blossoms were the national flower of the Kingdom of Dawson and it was a common sight there. Her brothers and Ikali had admired the vibrant pink blossoms together that they even picked some.

Surely, he would remember our childhood days if he saw the flowers.

A walk beneath the blooming trees would naturally lead to a conversation about the past.

Psyche gathered her courage and grabbed the hem of his shirt. No matter how people considered their marriage disgraceful, Psyche wanted to make a good life with her first love.

He looked down at the woman who had become his wife a month ago.

“Is there something you need?” 

His blue eyes held no emotion, as if he were looking at a stranger. Psyche's lips trembled as she looked at a man so different from the boy she remembered.

“No, it's not that...”

“Then?” 

She tucked her hair behind her ear and hesitated for a long time. Her cheeks were flushed.

“It's just that the flowers are in bloom outside. They'll all be gone in a few days when it rains, so I thought it would be nice to go for a walk now. I'm also worried about you only working. And...”

A strange tension made her cheeks warm.

The word husband made her feel incredibly shy and giddy. Psyche swallowed the rest of her words and smiled awkwardly.

“I thought it would be nice to see the flowers together...” 

As she smiled, her fair cheeks rounded and color bloomed in them. Meanwhile, Ikali stared at her youthful face without a word. He slowly raised his hand, took her hand off his shirt.

“Go with a maid.”

“But—”

As Psyche reached for him again, his sapphire-blue eyes distorted painfully.

“There is no need to make such requests of me. Go by yourself from now on.”

Before she could say anything more, Ikali called the butler.

“Find a maid to accompany my wife in her outing.”

Then he immediately returned to his office, as if he had just dealt with a nuisance. Although everyone on the continent pointed at her husband and called him a monster, Psyche believed Ikali was a kind man.

She believed it because of the years she had known him personally. Even when he was a boy who frequented the palace to play with the princes, Ikali Demiosis had never gotten angry or thrown a tantrum.  Like a true prince of the empire, he always had perfect posture, and his transparent eyes held no greed. He was a mature and kind boy.

Psyche believed that her husband's heart would open up someday. And so, she waited for him patiently. She waited in front of his office and was always on alert for a chance to go on a walk with him.

If he didn't look back even when she waited and watched from a distance, she was content with just that.

He'll look at me if I keep waiting because he's a kind person.

Six months passed with that thought. Six months as a Duchess. Six months of endlessly knocking on his heart. Then, her husband left for the battlefield, leaving her all alone.

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“Ugh... Ahh...” 

The clinking of chains pulled her from her dreams back to reality. When she opened her eyes, it was always the cold floor of the imperial prison.

Psyche lay her head on the frigid stone floor and groaned. She must have fainted without realising it and was only now awake. Since being imprisoned, she had repeatedly fainted and regained consciousness.

It was late, the faint moonlight seeped in through the small window above her head. The window was only the size of two palms, yet it was tightly barred.

Her left hand was cuffed to the ceiling. The chain was so short that she had to keep her arm raised just to sit.  Her arm had gone numb from being held up while she was unconscious. As time passed, a tingling pain spread through her forearm.

“It hurts...” 

She mumbled, gathering her body with a dry cough.

For the past four years of the war, she had struggled to maintain her position as the duchess of the manor. She had written letters to her husband on the battlefield every day and tried to participate in the family's business despite the contempt of the vassals.

She thought that when the war ended and her husband returned, he would tell her she had done well and hold her in his arms.

She had endured for four years on that single expectation. But contrary to her hopes, what arrived for her was not her husband's warm love. It was the Emperor's order to execute the Ducal family for the crime of high treason.

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Chapter 2