IDLYITL CH 12
- Mar 20
- 7 min read
Chapter 12
• ────── ✦ ────── •
A Lovesick Teenager
“I was a little nervous, but I specially asked the head chef. He agreed right away.”
“You get nervous too, Anna?”
“Goodness, looks like you’re not gloomy anymore. You're even teasing me now.”
Anna didn't leave until Psyche had finished the ice cream. Psyche handed the empty plate to Anna.
“You don’t have to worry so much about what people in the duke’s household think. The royal family may have sold me off, but I’m still the mistress of this estate.”
“That’s true…”
“You’re my maid and my person. So you don't need to be nervous around anyone.”
Psyche smiled brightly, her mood noticeably better.
“Remember when you yelled at Madam Tilly to watch her manners? You were so cool then. And now you're worried about the chef?”
“I was just so angry, I couldn’t help myself. I still feel so wronged and upset just thinking about it.”
“I couldn't even say a word to that woman.”
Anna gave her a pouty expression as if to say her mistress was joking.
“You couldn't say a word? Who was it that sent the woman who was yelling to be let in back with a smile on her face? It was like you were spitting on her with a smile. I never knew you had such a bold side to you, Madam.”
Anna said it playfully, but Psyche was talking about her previous life. For four years after Madam Tilly regaining the viscounty, and whenever she ran into her in high society, Psyche had been so terrified of her that she couldn’t even utter a single word in her own defence.
But, things are a little different now. Even if it’s just me talking back a little more than before.
Psyche tried to smile, but Anna spoke confidently.
“If that woman is ever rude to you again, I won't stay quiet.”
“Hmm. What will you do if you don’t stay quiet, Anna?”
“You’ll find out when the time comes.”
Anna shrugged dramatically, making Psyche laugh. Talking with Anna made last night’s confrontation with Ikali feel almost like a dream. Strangely, whenever she thought of his face from last night, her heart ached.
To shake the feeling, Psyche kept Anna with her and chatted until lunchtime. Her sad, sinking heart began to feel lighter. Time flew by as she chatted with Anna about insignificant things. Psyche met with Hans and told him about what happened in the square yesterday.
Considering Hans was still her husband’s right-hand man, made her uncomfortable, but easier talking to him than with her husband.
“So, Viscount Warren invited me to the salon again. It seems he plans to attend it himself.”
“Oh, I see. It’s likely that any noble with even a slight connection to the Marquess’ family will attend. I heard they’ve been preparing this salon for months.”
To invite her to such an elaborate event… Psyche found the motive behind the invitation even harder to guess.
“I understand that it's difficult for you to avoid this event, Madam.”
“But it would still be best to decline, right?”
Psyche asked carefully, and Hans pretended to think.
“I’ll speak to the duke first. If the two of you attend together, there won't be any issues.”
“…Attend the salon with the duke?”
Psyche showed her distaste.
“Is there any need to waste time asking him? It's obvious he won’t go…”
Psyche naturally assumed he would never attend a salon. Hans, in turn, looked puzzled.
“How can you decide his feelings without even asking? As capable as I am, I can’t read the duke’s mind. If his schedule is free, he could very well attend.”
“Hmm.”
“Don’t worry so much, Madam. I’ll ask the duke and if he can attend with you, I'll make the arrangements. It’s customary for a couple to attend a salon together, after all.”
Psyche’s reaction was still lukewarm. Even four years ago, it wasn’t like she had never asked Ikali to attend social events with her. Every time, he either ignored her or went into his study claiming he was busy and never came out. After offering and being rejected more than a dozen times, he would simply stare at her with cold eyes not saying a word.
I just hope this doesn’t cause him to get angry at me again for bothering him.
“By the way, Madam.”
“Yes?”
When Psyche looked up, Hans stared at her silently.
“Are you alright? You met Viscount Warren by yourself.”
“Oh?”
“It was my mistake. I didn't think about it since you were only going a short distance away. Next time, please take an escort, even when you go to a teahouse. It would also be better if you didn’t talk to Viscount Warren or Madam Tilly at all.”
Psyche’s eyes widened.
“Oh… thank you for your concern.”
“Not at all. It's only natural. That mother and son have a deep-seated grudge against the duke. They might try to do something to harm you, Madam.”
Hans was genuinely relieved that she had returned unharmed. He then gave her a small smile.
“It's time for you to go down for lunch, Madam.”
“Right. Thank you for listening to my story.”
It was already lunchtime. Since Han had run into her, he escorted her down the stairs to the dining hall.
“I apologize for bringing this up so suddenly Madam, but I heard you had ice cream with macadamia nuts this morning?”
Psyche’s eyes darted around in embarrassment.
“That information reached you already?”
“This manor is under my control, after all… Anyway, Madam, you must really like nuts.”
Psyche's face turned beet red, and defended herself.
“...Dawson is famous for its nuts, but if you're thinking I like them because of that, is a stereotype. I just like them personally.”
“Haha, that’s not what I meant at all.”
Oh, of course not. Psyche shot a side glance at the grinning aide. She was about to retort that Dawson harvested many things besides nuts, but she closed her mouth.
As Hans opened the dining hall door, Ikali was already seated. For the past few days, she was no longer surprised to see him sitting in the dining room. His black hair brushed lightly over his eyelids, and his broad frame showed through the thin shirt he wore.
The afternoon sunlight resting on his face made him look more beautiful than a sculpture. Psyche, who had stopped for a moment to look at Ikali, erased her expression and entered the dining hall.
Hans closed the door behind them, and the room became eerily quiet. From a quick glance, was about to finish eating his meal. A single piece of chocolate sat on the plate for dessert, but he only took a few sips of water before standing up. He left the dining hall without a single word.
Hans, who had entered the dining hall with her, stared with wide eyes.
“Oh, Madam … it's just that the duke is very busy…”
“It's fine.”
Psyche answered calmly and turned to the butler.
“Go ahead and serve my meal.”
“Oh, yes, Madam.”
“Hans, you should go with the duke.”
Hans held back a sigh, then gave a quick bow and hurried out of the dining hall. Psyche ate alone. In a way, it was more comfortable not to dine with Ikali. If he kept acting so kindly toward her, and kept unsettling her with his strange words, Psyche wasn't sure what her heart would do.
Last night, when he stared at her as if there was something left unsaid, her heart had become so agitated she couldn't stand it. Whenever her conflicting emotions clashed, Psyche felt as if her heart was being torn apart.
I just wish he would continue ignoring me in this life too, treat me as if I didn't exist, and don’t even give me a slightest bit of interest.
• ───────── ☽༓☾ ───────── •
She couldn't recall when it had started. There was a certain day when Ikali no longer visited the palace. Ikali, who had been a playmate for her older brothers, had started visiting less and less after he turned nineteen, and after his coming-of-age ceremony, he stopped visiting completely. They barely had any contact.
“Maybe it was just because Ikali and my brothers are getting older.”
Psyche muttered sulkily,
“I don’t get it. If my brothers are too old, he can just be my playmate, right? He barely contacts me at all, even though he knows how much I wait for him. That’s so mean.”
“Goodness, Your Highness. How can a man and a woman be friends? Besides, you're a princess.”
Anna chuckled towards the young princess with her cheeks puffed-out. The princess who followed Ikali since she was a little girl had grown into a proper teenage girl. Her chubby cheeks had become a little slenderer, and she was as beautiful as her late mother, the queen.
What's more, she even had a boy she liked, so Anna was quite pleased with her outward changes. Anna braided her hair carefully.
“And you don't just want to be friends with the duke’s son, do you? You like him.”
“Wha-what!”
Psyche's eyes widened. Anna knew perfectly well that Psyche had a crush on the refined young duke from the neighbouring empire. Since he turned nineteen, Ikali had become a handsome man with an air of unreachable dignity and grace. Given his exceptional looks, it was natural that Psyche still liked him. Anna put on a lavender dress for her, trying to console her.
“And of course he would be busier now that he's an adult. He must have a lot of events in the Empire, too.”
“That’s true, but…”
Psyche’s face grew sad like a lovesick teenage girl. Anna couldn't help but chuckle.
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